There was a period of my life where I was running on caffeine, adrenaline, and sheer stubbornness. I’d wake up tired. Drag myself through the day. Crash on the couch after bedtime. Do it all again tomorrow.
I figured this was just what being a mom felt like. Exhausted all the time. Irritable more than I wanted to admit. Running on fumes and calling it normal.
Then a friend said something that stuck with me. She said “you know it doesn’t have to feel this hard all the time, right?” And I honestly wasn’t sure she was right. But I started wondering.
What if some of this exhaustion wasn’t inevitable? What if small changes could actually make me feel better?
Spoiler alert: they could. They did.
I’m not going to pretend I transformed into some glowing wellness goddess. I’m still tired sometimes. I still have hard days. But my baseline is so much better than it used to be. More energy. More patience. More moments where I actually feel like myself instead of some depleted zombie version of myself.
Here are the ten habits that made the biggest difference. None of them are complicated. None of them require hours of free time. They’re just small choices that add up.
I know. You’ve heard this a million times. Drink more water. Revolutionary advice.
But here’s the thing. I wasn’t doing it. I’d have coffee in the morning, maybe some more coffee later, then realize at 3 PM that I hadn’t had any actual water all day. And then I’d wonder why I had a headache and felt like garbage.
Even mild dehydration affects energy levels and mood. Your brain needs water to function. When you’re dehydrated, everything feels harder than it should.
I started keeping a water bottle with me constantly. Refilling it became automatic. I don’t count ounces or obsess about it. I just drink water throughout the day instead of forgetting entirely.
The difference was noticeable within a week. Fewer headaches. More energy. Less of that vague foggy feeling I’d gotten so used to.
It’s not exciting. But it works.
This one surprised me with how much it helps. Just going outside, even briefly, shifts something.
Sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm, which affects sleep quality and energy levels. Fresh air feels different than indoor air, even if I can’t explain why scientifically. There’s something about being in nature, even just your backyard, that calms the nervous system.
I started making it non-negotiable. Every day, I go outside at least once. Sometimes it’s a walk. Sometimes it’s just sitting on the porch while the kids play. Sometimes it’s literally standing in my driveway for three minutes because that’s all I have.
It counts. All of it counts.
On days I skip this, I notice. My mood is flatter. My energy is lower. Getting outside is like a reset button I didn’t know I had.
Exercise is good for you. Obviously. But I used to think it only counted if it was a real workout. Thirty minutes minimum. Breaking a sweat. Proper exercise clothes.
That thinking kept me from moving at all most days. Because I rarely had time for real workouts.
Now I just focus on moving. Any movement. Dancing while making dinner. Walking around the block. Stretching for five minutes when I wake up. Playing actively with the kids instead of just watching them.
Movement releases endorphins. It burns off stress hormones. It wakes up your body and your brain. You don’t need a gym membership or an hour of free time. You just need to move a little more than you’re moving now.
On days I get some kind of movement, my energy is noticeably better. My mood is more stable. I sleep better at night. The evidence in my own life is overwhelming at this point.
I used to skip breakfast constantly. Too busy getting kids ready. Not hungry first thing in the morning. Coffee was enough.
Then I’d wonder why I was snapping at everyone by 10 AM and craving junk food by noon.
Turns out your body needs fuel to function. When you skip breakfast, your blood sugar drops, your energy crashes, and your mood suffers. You end up irritable and exhausted before the day has really started.
I don’t do elaborate breakfasts. Some yogurt with fruit. Toast with peanut butter. Eggs if I have a few extra minutes. Overnight oats I prepped the night before. Something, anything, with protein to stabilize my blood sugar.
The difference in my morning patience is remarkable. I’m not a different person, but I’m a less hangry person. And that matters.
Sleep is the foundation of everything. When you’re not sleeping enough, nothing else works right. Your energy tanks. Your mood suffers. Your patience disappears. Your body can’t recover from the demands of the day.
I know sleep is complicated for moms. Babies wake up. Kids have nightmares. You finally have quiet time at night and don’t want to waste it by going to bed.
I can’t magically give you more sleep. But I can tell you that making sleep a priority, even in small ways, helps.
Going to bed thirty minutes earlier. Creating an actual bedtime routine that helps you wind down. Keeping your phone out of the bedroom. Making your room darker and cooler.
And honestly? Sometimes choosing sleep over scrolling social media or watching another episode. That trade-off is worth it more often than we admit.
I’m not perfect at this. But on nights I get to bed at a reasonable hour, the next day is measurably better. It’s the most boring advice and also the most impactful.
This one hurt to implement. I loved my afternoon coffee. It felt like the only thing getting me through the 3 PM slump.
But that afternoon caffeine was wrecking my sleep. I’d be wired at 10 PM, finally fall asleep too late, then need more caffeine the next day because I was tired. A vicious cycle.
I switched to decaf after noon. Or tea if I want something warm. Or just water. And I started sleeping better almost immediately.
The irony is that sleeping better gave me more energy, which meant I didn’t need the afternoon caffeine as much in the first place.
If you’re having trouble sleeping and you’re consuming caffeine in the afternoon, try cutting it off earlier. Give it two weeks. See what happens. It made more difference for me than I expected.
Moms need adult interaction. Actual conversations with people who don’t need you to wipe anything or solve any problems.
Isolation tanks your mood faster than almost anything. We’re social creatures. We need connection. And talking to toddlers all day, while meaningful, doesn’t meet that need.
I started being more intentional about this. Texting friends throughout the day. Calling my sister during my commute. Scheduling actual time with other adults even when it felt hard to arrange.
Connection doesn’t have to be deep heart-to-heart conversations. Sometimes it’s just chatting with another mom at the playground. Sometimes it’s a funny text exchange with a friend. Sometimes it’s talking to the barista for thirty extra seconds.
Small doses of connection add up. They remind you that you’re a person, not just a mom-shaped service provider.
I used to power through everything until I was completely depleted. No breaks, no pauses, just going and going until I hit a wall. Then I’d be useless and resentful and need to recover for way longer than if I’d just rested a little along the way.
Now I try to take small breaks before I need them urgently. Five minutes sitting down between tasks. A few minutes outside while the kids are occupied. Actually eating lunch sitting down instead of standing at the counter.
This felt indulgent at first. Like I was slacking. But it’s not indulgent. It’s strategic. Small breaks throughout the day prevent the massive crashes that come from running on empty.
Think of it like your phone battery. You can wait until it dies completely and then scramble to charge it. Or you can plug it in for a few minutes here and there and keep it functional all day.
You’re the phone. Take the small charges.
Did you know that making decisions uses mental energy? And that by the end of a day full of decisions, your brain is tired and everything feels harder?
Moms make approximately one million decisions a day. What to feed everyone. What everyone should wear. How to handle the tantrum. What activity to do. When to leave. What to buy at the store. On and on.
By evening, I used to be so depleted that choosing what to watch on TV felt overwhelming.
Reducing decision fatigue means making fewer decisions by automating or eliminating them. Same breakfast every day so you don’t have to think about it. Meal planning so you’re not deciding dinner at 5 PM. Capsule wardrobe so getting dressed is simpler.
I started doing Taco Tuesday and pasta Wednesday just to have two nights a week where I didn’t have to decide anything. It sounds so small but it helps.
Look for decisions you make repeatedly and see if you can eliminate them. Your brain will thank you.
This is the one that’s easiest to skip and also maybe the most important.
Moms spend so much time doing things for other people. Meeting everyone else’s needs. Making sure everyone else is okay. We can go days or weeks without doing a single thing just because we want to.
That wears on you. It makes you feel less like a person and more like a function. Your mood flattens. Your energy drops. Resentment builds.
You need something that’s just for you. A hobby, an interest, a regular activity that has nothing to do with being a mom.
For me it’s reading. I make time to read actual books, fiction mostly, just for enjoyment. Not self-improvement books, not parenting books. Stories I get lost in.
For you it might be something else. Crafting. Walking. Gardening. Writing. Gaming. Watching shows you love. Anything that’s yours and not about caregiving.
This isn’t selfish. This is maintenance. You’re a person with interests and needs and you can’t completely abandon that part of yourself without consequences.
Make time for something that’s just for you. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s just fifteen minutes a few times a week. It matters.
Reading about healthy habits is easy. Actually doing them is harder.
Here’s what helps:
Start with one thing. Not all ten at once. Pick the one that resonates most or seems most doable. Focus on that until it’s automatic. Then add another.
Make it easy. Remove obstacles between you and the habit. Water bottle always filled and visible. Sneakers by the door. Book on your nightstand. The easier the habit, the more likely you’ll do it.
Attach it to something you already do. Drink water while you make coffee. Go outside right after school drop-off. Stretch while waiting for the shower to warm up. Habit stacking works.
Be flexible, not perfect. You’ll miss days. Things will get in the way. That’s fine. Just start again the next day. Consistency over time matters more than perfection on any given day.
Notice the benefits. Pay attention to how you feel when you do these things versus when you don’t. That evidence becomes motivation. When I skip my morning water, I notice the headache by noon. That makes me not want to skip it.
I want to be honest about something. These habits help a lot. They’ve genuinely changed how I feel day to day. But they’re not magic.
If you’re dealing with depression or anxiety or chronic health issues or an unsustainable life situation, drinking more water isn’t going to fix that. These habits work best as a foundation, not a substitute for addressing bigger problems.
If you’re doing all the right things and still struggling, that’s important information. It might mean you need more support. Therapy, medication, major life changes, whatever applies to your situation.
But for regular, garden-variety mom exhaustion? The kind that comes from doing a hard job with not enough support and not enough rest? These habits make a real difference.
Small changes add up. Taking care of your physical needs creates more mental and emotional capacity. Feeling better in your body helps you feel better overall.
You deserve to have energy. You deserve to feel good more often than not. Not just for your kids, though they benefit too. For you. Because you’re a person and your wellbeing matters.
What habit do you think would make the biggest difference for you right now? Sometimes just identifying the starting point helps. And I’m always curious what works for other moms because we’re all figuring this out together.
