I used to wake up every morning already behind. Alarm goes off and immediately my brain starts listing everything that needs to happen. Get kids up. Make breakfast. Find the missing shoe. Pack lunches. Sign that permission slip I forgot about. Where is the other shoe. Why is no one dressed. We’re gonna be late. We’re always late.
By the time everyone was out the door I felt like I’d already lived a whole exhausting day. And it was only 8am.
For years I thought this was just what mornings were like with kids. Chaos was inevitable. Stress was the price of entry. Some moms seemed to have it together but they were probably faking it or had easier kids or more help or something.
Then I started making small changes. Really small ones. And slowly our mornings went from frantic disaster to something almost peaceful. Not perfect. Not Instagram worthy. But manageable. Calm enough that I don’t start every day wanting to crawl back into bed.
If your mornings feel like mine used to, maybe some of this will help.
I know this is supposed to be about morning routines. But here’s the thing. The best thing you can do for your morning is prepare for it the night before.
I resisted this for so long. By evening I’m tired. I don’t want more tasks. I want to sit on the couch watching something mindless and not think about tomorrow.
But fifteen minutes at night saves thirty minutes of chaos in the morning. The math just works out.
What we do now before bed:
Clothes laid out. Everyone picks outfits the night before. Kids included. Eliminates the morning battle over what to wear and the last minute discovery that the shirt they want is dirty.
Backpacks packed by the door. Homework, folders, library books, whatever. All in the backpack, backpack by the door. No morning scrambling.
Lunches mostly prepped. Don’t always make full lunches at night but I do the prep. Wash fruit, portion snacks, check what we have. Sometimes make the whole thing and just grab it from the fridge.
Kitchen reasonably clean. I really don’t like waking up to mess. Dishes at night means morning feels more peaceful and I can make breakfast without first clearing space.
Takes maybe fifteen or twenty minutes total. Makes mornings completely different.
This is where some of you might close this article. I get it. Sleep is precious. Waking up earlier sounds like punishment.
But hear me out.
I started waking up just thirty minutes before my kids. Not two hours like productivity people suggest. Thirty minutes. Enough for coffee in silence, few minutes to think, maybe scroll my phone without anyone asking me for things.
Those thirty minutes changed everything.
When I woke up same time as kids I was immediately in reactive mode. Responding to needs, putting out fires, never getting ahead. Started every day feeling behind because I literally was.
Now I have a tiny buffer. Few minutes that are just mine. By the time kids wake up I’ve had coffee. I’m dressed. I feel like a person instead of a zombie.
Hard to wake up earlier? Sometimes yeah. Especially winter when it’s dark and cold. But the payoff is worth it. Whole day goes better when it doesn’t start in chaos.
Thirty minutes feels impossible? Try fifteen. Or ten. Just something.
The real version. Not fantasy. Including the parts that aren’t pretty.
5:45am: Alarm. I do not bounce out of bed joyfully. I lie there being annoyed for a minute. Then get up because I know I’ll regret it otherwise.
5:50am: Start coffee. While it brews I splash water on face, brush teeth, put on actual clothes. Nothing fancy. Leggings and t-shirt usually. But real clothes not pajamas. Makes me feel more ready.
6:00am: Coffee ready. Sit at kitchen table by myself and drink it. Sometimes scroll phone. Sometimes just sit. House is quiet. Favorite part.
6:15am: Quick mental run through of the day. What’s happening, what needs remembering, any potential issues. Sometimes write a short list. Nothing elaborate. Just getting it out of my head onto paper.
6:25am: Kids start waking up. Or I wake them if they haven’t. Morning shift begins.
6:25 to 7:15am: Family chaos time. Breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, finding things that somehow got lost overnight despite everything being by the door. Not pretending this is always smooth. But smoother than before because I’m not starting from zero.
7:15am: Out the door.
Nothing revolutionary. But compared to waking up when kids did and immediately drowning? So much better.
My routine is only part of it. Other part is making kids’ morning tasks as smooth as possible.
Visual checklists. For younger kids especially. Simple list with pictures so they know what to do without you repeating it fifty times. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Brush teeth. Get backpack. They check things off, feel accomplished.
Limited choices. Used to let kids pick whatever for breakfast then get frustrated when they couldn’t decide or wanted something complicated. Now I offer two options. Cereal or toast. Oatmeal or yogurt. Faster decisions, less negotiating.
Timers for transitions. Time to stop eating and brush teeth? Set a timer. Something about it makes it feel less like mom nagging and more like external thing they respond to. Timer goes off, we move on.
Dressed before breakfast. Game changer. Kids get dressed first now, not after eating. Because after there’s always something. They get distracted, they’re playing, suddenly we’re late and someone’s still in pajamas. Dressed first means hard part is done early.
Buffer time. Used to calculate exactly how long everything should take and leave exactly that much time. Any small delay made us late. Now I build in extra ten minutes. Sometimes we use it. Sometimes we’re actually early. Wild concept.
Creating better mornings was partly adding helpful things. Bigger part was stopping things that made mornings worse.
Stopped checking phone first thing. Used to grab it the second I woke up and scroll through everything. Seemed harmless but it was filling my brain with other people’s stuff before I’d even woken up properly. Now phone stays away until after coffee minimum.
Stopped trying to do chores in the morning. Used to try throwing in laundry or unloading dishwasher while getting everyone ready. Made everything more stressful. Mornings are for getting ready and getting out. Chores happen later.
Stopped making elaborate breakfasts on school days. Pancakes are for weekends. School day breakfasts are simple and fast. Cereal, toast, yogurt, fruit, oatmeal. Things that don’t need much cooking or cleanup.
Stopped fighting battles that don’t matter. Kid wants rain boots with shorts? Fine. Weird hair style? Sure. Random toy for the car ride? Whatever. Save energy for things that actually matter. We don’t die on small hills anymore.
Stopped expecting perfection. Some mornings still go sideways. Someone melts down. Something gets lost despite all our prep. We run late. It happens. Stopped beating myself up and started accepting some chaos is just part of having kids.
Took me way too long to realize this. If I don’t take care of myself a little in the morning I have nothing to give anyone else.
For a long time I’d skip breakfast because I was too busy making sure everyone else ate. Wouldn’t sit down once. Wouldn’t use the bathroom until everyone was out the door. Running on empty from minute one.
Now I make sure I eat something, even just a few bites while making lunches. I sit for my coffee. I use the bathroom when I need to instead of holding it. Small things but they matter.
Can’t pour from an empty cup as they say. Running yourself ragged every morning empties it pretty fast.
Whatever taking care of yourself looks like in the morning, even tiny things, try to include them. You deserve to be on your own list.
Being honest here. Even with all these changes some mornings are still hard. Kids are unpredictable. Life throws stuff at you. Best routine in the world and you can still have a morning that completely falls apart.
When that happens it’s not a failure of your routine. It’s just a hard morning. They happen.
What helps me is lowering expectations in real time. Okay, not gonna be calm today. Let’s just get through it. What’s the bare minimum? Everyone needs to get to school. That’s it. Everything else is optional.
Then later when things have calmed down I don’t dwell on it. Just move on. Tomorrow is another morning.
A morning routine isn’t about becoming some perfect put-together mom who never feels stressed. That person doesn’t exist.
Point is reducing unnecessary stress. Stopping the daily panic mode. Giving yourself a fighting chance of feeling human before demands of the day take over.
Good routine is just a container for your time. Helps things flow smoother. Takes decisions out of the moment when you’re groggy and overwhelmed and puts them somewhere calmer.
You’ll still have hard mornings. But fewer of them. And baseline will be better.
Worth fifteen minutes of prep the night before. Worth waking up a little earlier. Worth figuring out what works for your family.
What do your mornings look like? What’s the one thing you wish you could change? Always curious how other moms handle this because we’re all just figuring it out.
